Monday, May 16, 2016

Say what you mean, mean what you say.



Warning, slight rant incoming!  :)

I have always been an advocate of frank honesty and meaning what i say.  If I say I will do something, I will do it if I'm physically able to.  If I can't do something, or do not want to do it, I feel its preferable to simply say that I can't or won't.  This makes me reliable, and is courteous to others so they don't waste their time or become disappointed.

Seems like common sense, but Im not sure just how common it is, especially here in west virginia.  I notice repeatedly that here people say they will do something, when what they really mean is they might do something, sometime, perhaps.
I don't know if they believe its being impolite to honestly refuse, or they believe it is advantageous to keep the option open.

What brings this up?  Well its happened to me 3 times now with shade tree mechanics.  The most recent one was the garage nearby that wanted to barter a sign for repairs.  I've been there twice and a family member a couple.  I've shown him mock ups of the sign and confirmed he wanted to do it.  He'll call the second hes finished up the vehicle currently in the garage.

I never get that call.  The vehicle has been replaced with another and another.  I  stop buy but hes not there.  Frankly I feel like I'm begging for someone to do what they said they will do and it drives me crazy.  I shouldn't have to beg for a 100-200 dollars worth of work for a 3-400 dollar sign.

The mechanic before him is very good, but pinning that guy down is like trying to catch a bear.  Hes very nice but the guy will over commit to the nth degree and then dodge and duck those commitments.  I feel he just thinks its too impolite to refuse but its ok to flake out later.

I first experienced this phenomenon when i had an antique vanity and mirror I found when I moved into my cabin.  I literally was giving it away for free, posted on craigslist.  So many people said they wanted it, over and over.  They'd be there this and that time.  None showed, this went on for weeks.  Eventually I put it on the curb with a take it sign and it was gone in 15 minutes.


It baffles me, but I have seen countless times since.

My young nephew sold a fellow a car, he had just had a baby and needed one badly.  He agreed to take payments.   The guy never once brought him payments.  Every month he had to find this guy at his work and ask for it.  Sometimes he'd promise to bring it the next day and never did.  He still owes him half a payment on it, months late.   If it were me, id take the car back, they did have a contract.  But my nephew is a kinder kid.  It infuriates me that this person, who someone wanted to help, would not keep his word...even written word.

So here I am, facing the awkward situation of going to this guy again like a beggar, or just learning to fix it myself with no tools, or knowledge, or just drive till it dies on the side of the road, so I can find some work. 

Please remember, its ok to say no, it is not impolite.  And if you say yes, then follow through.  People shouldn't have to hound you to do what you should do.

Your word is your bond, people once understood that.  

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